Monday, July 6, 2009

RAW HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDE

Today Marlin offered (threatened) to be the nanny for my unborn children. He said this with a cigarette in his mouth right after he offered me a beer...on the job. When I refused, he asked if he could be my pool boy. I reluctantly agreed until he remarked about how he could now put those speedos to good use. Granted, Marlin is a balding 50 year old man who's beer intake has exceeded his incentive to exercise. He laughed. I walked away.



My story for the day is about the rodeo. I have decided that I do not want to be a bounty hunter anymore. I want to be a Rodeo Star. When I told some of the Wranglers this, they laughed...until they saw I was dead serious, and it turned into more of an awkward cough. Let me tell you about the Rodeo. Sparkly jackets, matching saddle pads and horse leg warmers, huge belt buckles, and little 7 year olds who can out ride some of our wranglers. It's awesome. Anywho, usually some of our wranglers participate in the rodeo, so Luke decided to do some nonchalant bull riding (did you catch the sarcasm there?). Now let's remember, this was my FIRST rodeo. And at my first rodeo, after sqwaking loudly (Luke's trade mark is a seagull call), Luke took off on the Bull. And by that I mean the Bull took off on Luke He lasted about 4 seconds until the Bull knocked him off, knocked him out, and knocked out his two front teeth. That's a lot of knocks. But it was EPIC. In fact, Luke landed on his back, out cold for a minute with his right hand sticking straight up in the air. Oh yeah, and he ended up with a black eye. Needless to say my first rodeo left a lasting impression.

Now I have to be honest with you--that previous story was started back in...oh July? And I just now finished it (it's August... in case you live in a cave somewhere...although I don't know how you'd get internet in a cave). The point is--it's on to more recent stories, but I have to skip A LOT of stuff. There's just not enough room. SOOOO here we go with a recent story from last week.

Two words: WHISKEY WEDNESDAYS.
It is God's gift to college students working in Jackson Hole. Ok, more like Cutty's gift, which is the bar/restaurant where all this takes place. Whiskey Wednesdays is that glorious event, in which all things whiskey related are two dollars. That's right--TWO DOLLARS. And this is Jackson Hole where everything is ridiculously expensive. So, let me set this scene. The gang is all at Cutty's after one of the Rodeos, and we're sitting at a table outside just laughing and enjoying ourselves. In walks our Ecolab man! Now, many of you may be asking yourself "What the hell is an ecolab man?" Well, let me tell you. The ecolab man (PJ) is like a representative from one of the companies our kitchen buys food from. He comes every week on certain days, AND he's from South Carolina!! We all think he's a nice guy (apparently until you get some whiskey into him...but that will come later), so he saw us and sat down and chatted. After a couple (like 10) drinks in, our very own Ecolab man was disastrously drunk. He proceeded to swing (throw) us around the dance floor, invade our personal space, and then make comments like "oh you ladies are going home with me tonight." Um....FALSE Ecolab man. Stay away. Well, two days after the incident (I mean this lasted all of Cutty's) he shows up on his normal to day at kitchen, and was met with awkward stares, laughter, and cold shoulders. It was very comical to watch him squirm in an estrogen kitchen of pissed off college aged girls. Serves you right Ecolab man, serves you right...